WHY SHOULD YOU KEEP READING?
-If you want a different perspective on why our words lose weight and meaning over time.
- You want to create more awareness in your conversations.
- You want more meaning in your life from thinking about your words.
OH THAT'S SO CLICHE!
Who doesn't love a good cliche? Who hates them? Do we even know what a cliche is?
Cliche is the death of what was once great advice (this is my own definition). It was a lesson, perhaps, that all humans should understand and grasp to help them understand life, its trials and happiness.
HOW DOES IT BECOME CLICHE?
As time passes, certain phrases become popular and overused to the point they lose their original meaning. You might have heard someone say to you "oh that's so cliche!"
If used correctly, it came right after you expressed a thought using an unoriginal phrase. In other, words you didn't search for your own words to describe what you were feeling. Moreover, the phrase you used has become convoluted over time, losing its meaning and strength to make an impact in conversation.
SO EVEN MORE SIMPLE...YOU WOULD BE BETTER OFF FINDING YOUR OWN WORDS TO EXPLAIN SOMETHING. AND THAT'S THE PROBLEM. WE'RE LOSING OUR ABILITY TO DO THIS FROM RELYING ON OTHER PEOPLE'S WORDS. WE'RE NOT SPENDING ENOUGH TIME LOOKING INTERNALLY AND ARE OVERLOADED EXTERNALLY WITH INFORMATION.
WE'RE BECOMING ROBOTS AND PAWNS WITH LESS ORIGINAL THOUGHTS.
WHERE AM I GOING WITH THIS?
Our society is having an insufferable time right now communicating for various reasons....some of which (my opinion here) are the following...
1. We're not teaching younger generations how to express themselves in the education system well enough. Too much emphasis on assigning loads of homework and telling kids how to think instead of how to understand themselves (I understand this isn't every teacher or school).
2. As coaches, parents and anyone in a role of raising and educating kids we are unaware of how we imprint our own insecurities and vices into our children. This can slow down the development of a person. Read Alice Miller's "The Drama of a Gifted Child."
3. Whenever we want to see drastic change in any one area of society we mostly try and make one particular group feel really guilty and awful about themselves, expect change right away and completely give zero validation to progress out of fear by doing so we won't make change, OR GET OUR WAY.
WHERE ELSE DOES THIS SHOW UP IN OUR LIVES?
It affects our relationships with friends and our partners. Brianne and I at age 26 and 32 have just begun to get good at telling each other what we need.
We've worked for years at realizing our current habits and emotional patterns were making us unhappy together and a part.
We learned where our habits came from and why they developed. We essentially worked really hard to figure out who we were, to become who we wanted to be.
We had to stop making ourselves feel awful for who we were.
We had to forgive ourselves to forgive others.
It was very difficult.
In life, one of our most valuable skills we can develop is great communication. I would argue that most of my success has come off of my ability to communicate my knowledge well.
In short, I'd rather be able to explain what I know very well than have a lot of information I can't explain. The later doesn't help many people; for me, that's important.
Eric and Scott Holiday cover a lot about sex addiction in Part 1.....
Replacing the dopamine rush from sex with new connections.
Scott talks about showing up and being authentic on instagram.
Where do these habits start from?
Practice staying conscious to become who you want to be.
Eric covers the Importance of expectations when trying to make progress.
Your partner can be your best coach.
Asking for help.
Working to feel your partners emotions.
The fear of losing your partner.
Feeling a loss of identity.
Manipulation is a serious weapon in our society. Feels like everyday we need to have our guard up from people and organizations we don't trust. Why is it so rampant? Why can't we all just be honest? Say what we really think?
When manipulation becomes part of the fabric of our communication, it's hard to know when we're using it and when we aren't. It can make genuine connection difficult.
Marketing companies have spent millions in research learning how to hack your attention and trust, so it's no wonder we have become so guarded.
Talks about how manipulation is a tool he picked-up early in his life, far before meeting Brianne. In large part, he used manipulation to avoid uncomfortable conversations that were inconvenient to him and his selfish desires. This tool would offer short term satisfaction and create divide long term.
When it becomes the fabric of our communication, it's hard to know when we using it and when we aren't. It can make it hard to have genuine connection.
Talks about how over time she started to call Eric out on his manipulation and holds him accountable to communicating more genuinely.
Brianne talks about her super high expectations of Eric in the first year of their relationship.
Eric talks about how it was hard receiving lack of affirmations from Brianne.
They both elude to why the relationship started off in this direction, but don't spill the beans on exactly why! Can you guess what it is?
Enjoy the entertainment and also leave with helpful takeaways on how to notice unwanted patterns, tell your partner what you need and avoid multiple realities within a relationship.
Eric is an advocate of mental healthy, especially for children. He's part of the initiative at Physiology First, a Non-Profit online University focusing on reeducating the youth all around the world.